Helga’s Golden

I have talked about how my life long passion for outdoor activities has been my inspiration for a philosophy for life that treats our planet with respect, but you can only get so far into the backcountry on your own, at some point you need some help.  A big strong girl can help out; one that will carry your gear, and has the heart to kick it into four wheel drive and climb anything in front of her.  The need for this kind of loving has brought out a dark side in me, because at some point I fell in love with an evil woman who took me places no other woman had ever taken me, and I just can’t let go.

I met Helga about 15 years ago when I moved to Reno. I knew I wanted to have a big hefty girl that could take me on exotic adventures that no skinny little fuel sipper could possibly go. So I started looking in the classified ads to find my perfect match, that’s when I met Helga, she was for sale by owner, she looked a bit beat up and probably hadn’t been treated with the respect she deserved, but I knew with a little TLC she would be a fine woman, more than capable of satisfying my needs, and the price was right.

Helga has taken me on adventures that I could only have imagined before she came into my life. We regularly go places that most girls wouldn’t even try to go, and she not only gets me there, she carries my gear, and provides ample protection from the elements too. I know that Helga is not popular by some of today’s standards, and people sometimes look at me funny, maybe even with a bit of disgust as I feed her, but those who appreciate a strong woman often compliment me on her beauty and some will even reminisce about how they once had such a woman, and how much they miss her now. The memories I have built with Helga will last forever, and even though she’s a bit tired now, I feel I owe it to her to make sure she is well taken of in her golden years.

Helga is now and always has been a recreation vehicle, she averages about 1,400 miles per year.


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